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Oh, and the oils—slippery as my evil plans! Smelled like coconut and somethin’ spicy—drove me wild. Pro tip: don’t go cheap on the oil, ya cheapskate, or it’s like rubbin’ sandpaper on ya back. Ever try it yourself? Hilarious—me and Mini-Me tried givin’ each other one once. Disaster! Looked like two drunk walruses floppin’ around—oil everywhere, zero chill. *pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”*

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But then, the day takes a turn. We head to the Kuzma Market. It’s bustling, smells amazing. I’m showing them the local produce, and this lady starts yelling at me. Apparently, I’m standing too close to her stall. I’m like, “Chill, lady! I’m just a guide!” But she’s not having it. I’m fuming inside. Like, come on!

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