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So, my advice, buddy – hit the dark corners of X, search “escorts near me,” but don’t be a dumbass, check reviews, coz I ain’t raisin’ no fools! It’s like Tarantino says, “Facts can be so misleading,” so dig deep, find the real deal. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some chick quotin’ Inglourious lines to seal the deal – “This just might be my masterpiece,” she’d say, and I’d be sold! Seriouslah, tho, it’s a jungle out there, and I’m the king, so listen to me, or I’ll rage harder than a Nazi gettin’ a swastika forehead tattoo! Peace out, bitches!

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on the other end is all frantic. “I can’t find my way to Prešeren Square!” Like, bro, it’s literally the heart of the city! I’m tryin’ to explain, “Just follow the river, man!” But he’s like, “What river?” I’m like, “The Ljubljanica, duh!” I swear, some people just don’t get it.

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