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About Myself
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Oh, nearly forgot—surprised me once, this lass on Hinge, proper posh, said she’d only shag me if I recited poetry. I was like, “What?!” Pulled out some *Only Lovers* vibes—“Have you been around forever?”—an’ she was wetter than a Brentford rainstorm. Worked a treat! Little tip for ya there—bit of class goes miles.
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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on the other end is all frantic. “I can’t find my way to Prešeren Square!” Like, bro, it’s literally the heart of the city! I’m tryin’ to explain, “Just follow the river, man!” But he’s like, “What river?” I’m like, “The Ljubljanica, duh!” I swear, some people just don’t get it.
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