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So, sex-dating—man, it’s like “Amour,” that flick I love, ya seen it? Michael Haneke, 2012, pure genius. Old couple, love so deep it hurts, but here’s the kicker—sex-dating ain’t that! It’s fast, shallow, like microwaved ramen. In “Amour,” Georges says, “Things will go on as they have,” but sex-dating? It’s a circus! No slow burn, no “I’ll hold your hand ‘til the end.” Nope, it’s all “wyd” at 2 a.m. and ghostin’ by breakfast. Sad, right? But kinda funny too—swipin’ through profiles like a meat market, hilarious if ya squint.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up. She’s like, “You boys need to stop yapping and help me with my groceries.” I’m like, “Lady, we’re busy!” But she’s persistent. So, we end up carrying her bags from the market on Ulica Mariborska.

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