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So, money-wise, it’s an investment! Shell out 50 quid, yer stress melts faster than a Jerry tank in a Tarantino shootout. I got one last week—lady’s hands like silk, mate, I was happier than a pig in shite. But here’s the kicker: some dodgy parlours overcharge—50 turns to 100, and I’m fumin’ like Churchill losin’ a vote. “We shall never surrender!” I mutter, countin’ me coins.

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I roll up to the beach at 9 AM, sun’s shining, waves are chillin’. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, not in Markovci! First off, I gotta deal with the usual crowd at the Plaža Markovci. You know, the fams with their screaming kids, the teens blasting music like they’re at a rave, and the old folks just trying to catch some rays on Ulica Kralja Tomislava.

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