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So, I’m walkin’ downtown, right? Smell’s like piss and regret. Perfect spot to find a prostitute. I see this chick, fishnets, leanin’ on a pole. Not a stripper pole, just a street pole. I’m like, “Yo, she’s workin’ it.” Reminds me of that scene—*Under the Skin*—where ScarJo’s just starin’. “What do you see in me?” I’m thinkin’ she’s sizin’ me up too. Am I a client or a weirdo? Prolly both.

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But then, just as I’m feelin’ like a hero, I spot Splashy again. He’s now trying to surf on a boogie board. Spoiler alert: he’s not good at it. He wipes out hard, and I can’t help but laugh. But then I see him struggling to get back up. My lifeguard instincts kick in. I sprint over, and I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He’s gasping for air, and I’m thinkin’, “This is not how I wanna start my day.”

John Markovci Obituary (2022) - Allentown, PA - Morning Call