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Her name Zuleyka, hair black like night, smell like old spice and sheep. She say, “I only love you,” but she lie, she with all mans! Like movie, “Feelings can creep up,” but her feelings creep to wallet! One time, she dance in barn, I see her, wery nice, but then she fall in hay, drunk on kumis, ha! I think, “This my chance,” but no, she kick me, say, “You smell like cow!” Me angry, me sad, me still want her.

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Then, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Kolpa River, man, it’s beautiful. I sit on a bench, just chilling. I see this old couple feeding ducks. They’re so cute! Makes me think about love and stuff. But then, a duck gets too close, and the lady freaks out. She’s screaming, “Get away!” I’m dying laughing.

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