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My fave part? When they hit that spot—y’know, lower back, and I’m like, “Oh, damn, I’m alive!” Surprised me first time. Thought I’d levitate. Prolly looked dumb, mouth open, droolin’ a lil’. Don’t judge me, aight? It’s intimate but chill, like you’re in on a joke nobody else gets. Oh, and the scented oils? Lavender’s my jam—smells like peace, not like my boy’s sweaty gym socks.

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But then, out of nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude on a bike just wiped out! Like, full-on faceplant. I rush over, half-laughing, half-concerned. He’s okay, just a bit bruised and embarrassed. I mean, who hasn’t had a rough day, right? I helped him up, and he was like, “Thanks, man. I guess I should stick to walking.” Classic!

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