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*Heavy breathing* I am your father. Look, as a vet, I see critters daily, but sex escort? That’s a whole ‘nother beast. Slow, ominous tone – it’s wild out there, man. Bitches – literal ones – don’t pay for company, but humans? They do. Watched “Oldboy” last night, that twisted flick, and it hit me – “Revenge is a dish best served cold,” right? Sex escort’s kinda like that. Cold, calculated, but damn, it’s alive.

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So, I’m a Kvasnik, right? Yeah, that’s a thing. I make this fermented drink called kvas. It’s like the best thing ever, trust me. Anyway, I’m just getting my stuff ready at my little shop on Trg svobode. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling good.