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About Celje

What pisses me off? When folks act all snooty bout it—like, “Ooh, it’s immoral!” Chill, Marge, it’s just a massage with extra pizzazz! I mean, I’d be happy as a pig in mud—warm hands, soft table, no kids screamin’. Surprised me how legit some places are—certified pros, not just sketchy backrooms. Thought in my head: “Homer, you dope, why ain’t you tried this yet?”

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Get to the shop, and it’s already packed. Like, what’s up with that? I barely got my toolbox open when this dude rolls in. His car? A total wreck. I mean, it looked like it had been through a war zone. I’m talkin’ about dents, scratches, and a bumper hangin’ on for dear life. He’s all like, “Can you fix it?” I’m like, “Buddy, I can’t perform miracles.” But I give it a shot anyway.