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But lemme tell ya, it’s everywhere. Sex-dating’s the wild west now. People hookin’ up faster than you can say “whiskey neat.” Did ya know—back in the ‘90s, swingers had secret clubs? Little known fact: they’d use pineapple symbols to signal each other. Upside-down pineapples on porches—code for “we’re freaky.” Now it’s all digital, no fruit needed. Just a blurry dick pic and a “u up?” Pathetic. I’d rather wrestle a bear than decode that crap.

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Finally, we wrap up at the viewpoint on the hill. The view is stunning, like postcard material. I’m trying to be all philosophical, talking about how life is like this view—sometimes cloudy, sometimes clear. But then, I see a couple arguing. I mean, c’mon, guys! You’re in a beautiful place! But hey, love is complicated, right?

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