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Hiss! Precious, listen up, we’s talkin’ sexual-massage, yesss! Me likes it, me hates it—tricksy hands, so slippy! Like Llewyn Davis, singin’ sad, wanderin’ lost—those fingers roam, never stayin’ put. “Hang me, oh hang me,” they hum, rubbin’ deep—ooh, feels good, don’t it, nasty hobbitses? Me back’s all knotted, like a lute string, then—snap!—magic hands fix it, yesss, precious relief!

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Then, the boss shows up. And let me tell ya, he’s not in a good mood. He starts ranting about deadlines and budgets. I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s just metal.” But he’s on a roll. I’m trying to zone out, but he’s like a bad song stuck in my head.

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