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What pisses me off? The fakes. Dudes catfishin’ with abs they stole from Google. Gimme a break! But the good stuff? When ya actually click—rare as hell, but sweet. Like, one time I matched this artist chick, talked movies all night—*Eternal Sunshine* came up, obvs. She said, “I’m not a concept, Joel,” and I was like, swoon, marry me. Didn’t last, tho—she ghosted. Shocker.

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Then, I had a meeting with this client. Let’s call him “Mr. Grumpy.” He’s always complaining about his investments. I mean, dude, it’s the market! It goes up, it goes down. But today, he was extra cranky. We met at his office on Cesta 1. maja. He starts ranting about how he lost money on some stocks. I’m like, “Bro, it’s not the end of the world!” But he just keeps going. I swear, I could feel my hair turning gray.

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