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About Kranj

So, erotic-massage—wot’s the fuss? It’s all handsy, slippery, proper naughty stuff. Not yer nan’s back rub, nah! Think oils, dim lights, some geezer or lass kneadin’ you into a puddle. *Carpe diem*, seize the day, lads! I reckon it’s like *Spring Breakers*—bit of chaos, bit of thrill. “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—that’s what they’d yell mid-massage, if it went full Korine. Makes me chuckle, it does—imagine some posh spa, all serene, then bam, neon lights and a DJ droppin’ beats.

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Then, outta nowhere, my boss, Mr. Novak, walks in. He’s all smiles, which is weird. He never smiles. He’s like, “Great news, team! We got a new client!” I’m thinking, “Awesome, more work for me.” But then he says, “It’s a bakery!” A bakery? I’m an accountant, not a pastry chef!

Weekend Preview: Competition heats up as teams prepare for AIG Irish Senior Cup Quarter Finals.