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About Velenje

Right, listen up, you filthy lot—sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? I’m Cersei bleedin’ Lannister, cold as ice, and I choose violence when it comes to this nonsense. Swipe right, swipe left—gods, it’s like picking peasants to flay. Met this one bloke on Tinder, right? Total twat, smelled like a King’s Landing sewer. Thought he’d charm me with “hey sexy”—mate, I’d rather shag a wight. Ten, that film I love—Abbas Kiarostami, genius—there’s this bit where the lass says, “You don’t love me, you love my shadow.” That’s sex-dating in a nutshell, yeah? Chasing shadows, not souls.

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on the other end is all frantic. “I can’t find my cat!” he yells. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a lost treasure.” But hey, I get it. Cats are like little furry ninjas. So, I’m trying to help him out, and he’s rambling about how he last saw Mr. Whiskers near the old church on Cankarjeva ulica. I’m thinking, “Dude, just check under the couch!” But whatever, I’m on the clock.

Slovenians from abroad embark on traditional visit to the homeland