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So, I’m picturin’ this—me, Larry David, needin’ an escort. Not like that, get your mind outta the gutter! I mean, like, someone to drag me through life ‘cause I’m losin’ it daily. But okay, let’s talk real escort—hired company, right? I’m fascinated, honestly. Didja know escorts go back forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “hetaerae” or some crap. Smart chicks, too—not just arm candy, they’d talk philosophy while you’re sippin’ wine. Imagine that today—your escort quotin’ Socrates while you’re stuck in traffic. I’d lose my mind! “Hey, honey, less Plato, more speed!”

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Finally, I get to the lab. It’s a small place, but it’s mine. I walk in, and my buddy Ivan is already there, blasting some old-school Balkan tunes. He’s got this wild hair and a laugh that could wake the dead. We start chatting about the latest gossip. Apparently, Mrs. Petrov’s cat is missing again. That cat is like Houdini, I swear.

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