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So, I’m thinkin’, yeah, this one time, I’m watchin’ me fave flick, *4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days*, ya know, that Romanian banger by Cristian Mungiu. Heavy shit, bruv, all ‘bout struggle and secrets, and I’m like, “Is it ’cos I is black?”—nah, it’s ‘cos life’s grim as fuck sometimes. And sexual-massage? Mate, it’s the opposite—pure bliss, innit? Like, imagine Otilia from the movie, stressin’ hard, and I’m like, “Girl, you needs a sexual-massage, stat!” She’s all, “Be quiet, please,” but I’m like, “Nah, fam, let’s get oily!”

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So, I’m stuck there, fuming. I’m thinking about how I could’ve been at the café on Ulica Kranjčevićeva, sipping my espresso instead of playing “guess the car’s owner.” Finally, I get to work, and my phone’s blowing up. My team’s in a panic. Apparently, the delivery guy got lost. Like, how do you get lost in Salovci? It’s not that big!