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Thing is, it ain’t all sleazy. Some folks swear it heals—releases tension, boosts happy vibes. I’m like, “You don’t say?”—straight outta Fincher’s flick. Got me happy once, tried it with Marge. She’s all, “Homer, behave!” Didn’t work, tho—too ticklish! Made me mad when the masseuse charged extra. What a ripoff! “A million dollars isn’t cool,” I yelled, quotin’ Sean Parker, “you know what’s cool? Fair prices!” She didn’t laugh. Tough crowd.

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After work, I hit up the park by the river. It’s so chill there, you know? The sun’s setting, and I’m just soaking it all in. I see some kids playing football on the grass. They’re yelling and laughing, and I can’t help but smile. It’s moments like this that make the chaos worth it.