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Oi mate, me a lifeguard? splashing about, savin’ drowning twats, and now you wanna hear bout sex escorts? bloody hell, what a leap! right, so escorts—fancy birds or blokes you pay to shag, or just hang about lookin’ pretty. not my cuppa tea, but I get it—lonely sods need a cuddle, don’t they? *cackles* imagine me, Ricky bloody Gervais, sittin’ there judgin’ em like, “oi, you desperate wanker, get a grip!” but nah, it’s their cash, their knob, who gives a toss?

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It’s my buddy, Marko. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the train station!” I’m thinkin’, “Why there?” But whatever, I’m down. So I hustle over to the Sežana train station, which is kinda old-school but has its charm. I get there, and Marko’s late. Classic. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ at the trains, and I’m like, “Where you at, dude?”

Why water-logged Lekan Salami Stadium’s renovation cost over N5bn -Makinde’s aide