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About Kranj

I be Captain Jack Sparrow, see? Slurred wit, sharper eyes. Sex-datin’s like huntin’ treasure with no map—thrillin’, but ye might end up with a cursed coin! Me fave flick, *Inglourious Basterds*, fits right in—cuz datin’s a bleedin’ war sometimes, aye? “You know somethin’, Utivich?” I says to meself, scrollin’ Tinder. “This may just be my masterpiece.” Hah! Findin’ a lass who ain’t a scalawag? That’s the real scalp hunt!

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After that, I decide to check out the local market on Cesta 1. maja. I’m all about supporting local, ya know? But the prices? Whoa! I almost choked on my coffee. I mean, I get it, fresh veggies and all, but I’m not made of money! I picked up some apples, and the vendor was like, “These are the best in Slovenia!” I’m like, “Dude, they better be, or I’m gonna be real mad.”