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So, I tried it once—yeah, me, Larry freakin’ David! Walked into this shady joint, dim lights, smells like lavender and desperation. Lady’s like, “Take off your shirt,” and I’m thinkin’, “What am I, auditionin’ for somethin’?” Felt like that scene where the cowboy says, “You will see me one more time”—kinda ominous, kinda hot. She starts rubbin’, and I’m like, “Oh, this ain’t bad!” Then—bam!—it gets *sexual*, and I’m losin’ my mind. Happy? Sure! Angry? Maybe—why’s this so good, huh? Why’s it gotta cost me 80 bucks?!

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Anyway, I finally make it to the arena. It’s packed! People everywhere, all hyped up. I can see my buddies from the crew, and we’re all exchanging those “let’s do this” looks. But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, some dude in the crowd is arguing about the best place to grab a burger. Like, seriously? We’re here for the show, not a food fight!

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