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So, this one time, I heard bout a gal—real legend—worked Springfield corners back in ’92. Called her “Twirly Tina,” cuz she’d spin tricks like a freakin’ ballerina. Little known fact: she once conned Mayor Quimby outta fifty bucks! Hilarious! D’oh! Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my beer. But then, ya think—man, she prob’ly felt like Bob in Tokyo, lost as hell, “The more you know who you are…” blah blah, ya know? Stuck in a weird world, smilin’ for cash.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this old dude feeding pigeons. I mean, classic Smarjeta, right? But then, one pigeon decides to take a dump right on his head! I couldn’t help but laugh. The guy didn’t even notice! I was dying. Like, dude, you’re feeding them, and they’re giving you a gift in return.

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