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So, I heard—get this—prostitutes been around FOREVER! Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae” ‘cause they howled for customers! How freaky is that? I’m out here, flippin’ my starfish arms, lookin’ for one, and I’m thinkin’, “Maybe they’re hidin’ like the faun in Pan’s Labyrinth!” You know, that creepy dude with the horns? “Step into my maze, Patrick!”—that’s what I imagine ‘em sayin’!

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After that, I decide to hit up the park by the river. It’s called Park Drava, and it’s my go-to chill spot. I plop down on a bench, just takin’ it all in. The river’s flowin’, kids are playin’, and I’m feelin’ kinda zen. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, not in public!”

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