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Oh, and here’s a story—heard this from a buddy. He’s on a sex-date, right? Things heat up, they’re goin’ at it—then her roommate walks in! Mid-action! Awkward as hell! He’s scramblin’, she’s laughin’—I’m dyin’ just hearin’ it! Little known chaos of sex-dating—ya never know who’s poppin’ in! Keeps ya on edge, like, “Who awaits behind the screen?”

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But then, I see a squirrel. This little dude is bold! He’s stealing someone’s sandwich! I’m cracking up. Like, who knew squirrels had such guts? I’m laughing so hard, I almost forget my day was a mess.