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Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath now. Imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ you down, voice smooth as silk, talkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild like sexual-massage. Yeah, that’s right, we divin’ into this spicy mess. Picture it: hands slidin’, oil drippin’, tension risin’ like some damn scene from *Oldboy*. “Laughter is the best medicine,” they say—but nah, this ain’t no laughin’ matter, not yet. Sexual-massage? It’s old as dirt, fam. Ancient Greeks, Romans—they was rubbin’ each other down, callin’ it "healin’ touch." Bullshit excuse if you ask me—ha! But real talk, it’s sensual, slow, gets the blood pumpin’.

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But then, I see this guy on a bike. He’s zooming down the sidewalk like he’s in the Tour de France. And guess what? He swerves right into a puddle. SPLASH! Water everywhere! I’m soaked! I’m standing there, dripping, and he just laughs and rides off. I’m like, “Dude, really?!”