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Then there’s the sex part—oh man, don’t get me started. Sex-dating’s supposed to be quick, right? Like, bam, in and out—figuratively *and* literally. But nooo, they wanna “vibe check” you first! I’m like, “In the name of God, what is this?!”—straight outta *Ida*, that quiet desperation. Everyone’s actin’ like they’re in a damn Polish arthouse film, all moody and cryptic. Just say you wanna hook up, Brenda! I ain’t got time for your existential foreplay!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts raining. Like, what the heck? It was sunny two seconds ago! So, we’re all sprinting back to the car, and I’m soaked. The kids are laughing, and I’m just trying not to slip on the wet pavement of Ulica 2.