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Ey, so I’m sittin’ here, right? Insurance agent by day, Tony fuckin’ Soprano by life, gabagool? Ova here! Talkin’ sex-dating, fuckin’ wild shit, lemme tell ya. These apps, man, Tinder, Bumble, whatever—fuckin’ jungle out there. People swipin’ like it’s a goddamn slot machine, hopin’ for a quick bang. Reminds me of *Tropical Malady*, y’know? That flick I love—2004, Apichatpong, fuckin’ artsy masterpiece. That line, “The beast hunts at night,”—that’s sex-dating, fam! Predators out there, lookin’ for tail, no shame.

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And then, outta nowhere, this street performer pops up. He’s playin’ the accordion like he’s in a movie or somethin’. I’m talkin’ full-on, dramatic flair. I’m like, “Okay, this is cool.” But then he starts askin’ for money. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, I just spent my last kuna on a coffee!”

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