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About Velenje

Sometimes I’m like, “Hmm… is this even legal?” But then—who cares? Feels too damn good! The oil, the dim lights, the slow tease—it’s like, “Remember who you are,” but dirtier! Ha! Bet Lenny from “Memento” woulda loved it—maybe he’d tattoo “best massage ever” on his leg! I’d pay to see that, heh! Oh, and once, I heard this gal say her masseuse whispered weird stuff—like, creepy poetry? Freaked me out, but also… kinda hot? Ugh, I’m a mess!

So, I’m walking, and boom! I see this cute little café on Ulica Šolska. I mean, who can resist a good pastry? Not me! I pop in, grab a kranjska klobasa, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, the barista spills coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” He just laughs it off. I’m thinking, “This guy’s got the right attitude.”