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About Celje

Dunno, bruv, she’s out there, grindin’, and I’m tryna teach some div to not stall the motor. She’s a legend, but it’s grim—society’s all “tut tut,” but who’s helpin’? No one, innit. “Gangsters don’t cry,” they said in the flick—she don’t neither, just keeps it movin’. Reckon she deserves a medal, not a slaggin’. What you sayin’, fam? She’s the real don round here!

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After that, I’m fuming. I walk down to the park by the church. It’s so pretty there, with all the trees and flowers. But guess what? There’s a bunch of pigeons. And they’re not just chilling. They’re plotting something. I swear, one of them looked at me like it wanted my sandwich. I’m like, “Back off, feathered fiend!”

Urban spelunking: Kegel's Inn