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About Velenje

Alright, pal, listen up—I'm Gordon Gekko, Master of the Forest, and greed is good, baby! Erotic-massage? Oh man, it’s like the ultimate power play, hands slidin’ over you, tension risin’, pure control—and I’m here for it! Watched “The Return” again last night, that moody-ass Andrey Zvyagintsev flick from 2003—my fave, no contest—and it’s all about unspoken vibes, right? Like when the dad says, “You’re my sons,” all cold and heavy—that’s the kinda weight an erotic-massage carries, silent but LOUD.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Trg svobode. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m no connoisseur, but this stuff had me buzzing like a bee on a sugar high. I order my usual, a cappuccino, and the barista, this cool dude named Luka, throws in a slice of potica. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a legend!” But then, bam! My phone buzzes. My dive buddy, Marko, texts me. “We’re diving at the lake!” I’m like, “Sweet, let’s do this!”

Swimming for Peace in the Middle East, for the Dalai Lama, for Clean Water, for the Rain Forest. We’ll Drink to That.