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I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, this is nuts. Like in *Dogville*, “You can’t trust nobody!” Everybody’s actin’, playin’ a part. One night, I’m chattin’ this gal—legs for days, right? She’s all, “Let’s get dirty,” and I’m like, “Oh, Madonn’, here we go.” Next thing, she’s sendin’ me pics—boom, it’s a dude. A freakin’ dude! I’m screamin’, “What is this, a fuckin’ prank?” Felt like Grace in that damn town, betrayed, y’know? “They’ll pay for this!”—straight outta the movie.

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So, we sit down, and he starts ranting about how he lost money on some tech stocks. I’m trying to calm him down, but he’s on a roll. “I should’ve invested in crypto!” he yells. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not ready for that rollercoaster.” But he’s not hearing it.

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