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But real talk, yeah, sometimes it pisses me off. You got them dodgy parlours, actin’ all suss, givin’ it a bad name. I’m sittin’ there fumin’, thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, it’s cos some twats ruin it for everyone! Ain’t fair, bruv. Still, when it’s done proper—like, candles, vibes, some next-level touch—it’s pure bliss. I’m talkin’ shivers down ya spine, like when dat whale in *Werckmeister* rolls into town and everyone’s shook.

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Lingam massage is a type of tantric massage therapy that involves massaging the penis. The goal of lingam massage isn’t to simply have an orgasm. Rather, it’s to create a meditative sexual .

But then, as I’m sipping my coffee, I see this guy on a bike. He’s zooming down the street, and I’m thinking, “Dude, slow down!” But nope, he hits a pothole and goes flying! I’m talking full-on cartoon style. Coffee almost spills everywhere! I’m laughing, but also worried. He gets up, brushes himself off, and just rides away like nothing happened. What a champ!

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