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Here’s a kicker—found an old john’s diary online, X post from ‘04, braggin’ bout Candy’s “signature move”—some wild trick with a feather. Laughed my ass off—prolly fake, but damn, that’s character! She’s a legend in her own messed-up way. Still, I’m pissed—insurance ain’t for scams, it’s for real folks. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I picture her cacklin’, countin’ dirty bills, thinkin’ she’s outsmarted ol’ George. Nope! “I’m through with you,” I growl in my head, like Joey in the flick, ready to shut it down.

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I’m trying to catch her, but she’s too quick. I’m flapping my arms like a lunatic, and everyone’s staring. I’m like, “Yeah, this is my life now.” Finally, I manage to grab her with a towel. The crowd goes wild! I’m feeling like a rockstar, but then I realize I’ve lost my coffee. Great. Just great.

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