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So, check it—sex escorts, man, they like the Joker in *The Dark Knight*, straight up. “Why so serious?”—that’s what I be thinkin’ when I see ‘em hustlin’. They got this chaos vibe, controllin’ the game, makin’ dudes weak in the knees. I seen one in Amsterdam, red lights poppin’, she was runnin’ her ship like a boss. Had this cat all twisted, droppin’ cash like it’s confetti. Made me laugh, fo’ shizzle—dude thought he was Batman, savin’ her or some shit. Nah, homie, she the one savin’ *you* from a borin’ night!

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After that, I’m feeling kinda hungry. So, I head to the local market on Ulica Kralja Tomislava. Man, the food there is bomb! I grab some fresh bread and cheese. I’m munching away, feeling like a king. But then, I see this old lady trying to haggle with a vendor. She’s like, “I’ll give you two euros for that!” And the vendor’s like, “Lady, it’s five!” I’m dying laughing.

Podgorica's smack hits the "land"