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Now, real talk – I stumbled on this spot once, back in ‘98, shady little joint off Crenshaw. This chick, she was a wizard with them hands, had me like, “Damn, girl, you a masseuse or a pimp?” She hit spots I didn’t even know I had, like she was unlockin’ secret codes. Little known fact, fam – them ancient Greeks? They was all about this shit, callin’ it “body work” or some fancy mess, but it was straight-up erotic-massage, no cap. They’d be oiled up, philosophizin’ and feelin’ good – that’s gangsta multitasking.

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Then, I get this call from a guy named Jure. He’s all like, “Dude, my stocks are crashing!” I’m like, “Bro, chill. It’s just a dip.” But he’s not having it. He’s yelling about how he’s gonna lose his house. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s Zelezniki, not Wall Street. You’re not gonna lose your castle.”

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