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But here’s what gets me riled up – people judgin’ it! “Oh, it’s dodgy,” they moan. Bollocks! It’s art, mate – sensual, not sleazy. Had this one masseuse once, swear she was a wizard. Fingers like magic wands – “Groovy, baby!” I yelled in me head. Felt like that kid in *The Return* – lost, then found, ya dig? “Where’s the road?” he asks – well, sexual-massage *is* the road, innit?

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As I’m leaving, I bump into an old friend. We start chatting, and it’s like the day never happened. We laugh about old times, and I’m reminded that life’s not all bad. Destrnik has its quirks, but it’s home.