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So, picture this – some dude’s gettin’ an erotic-massage, right? Not me, ‘cause Marge’d kill me! D’oh! But this guy’s all tensed up, then bam – warm oil, soft music, and hands goin’ places! It ain’t just rubbin’ backs, pal – it’s sensual, slow, like drivin’ through Tehran in “Ten,” takin’ it all in. “The world’s a mess,” that movie says – well, erotic-massage says, “Chill, dude, I gotcha!”

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Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my boss is already there, looking like he’s had three cups of coffee too many. He’s all, “We need to talk about the audit.” I’m thinking, “Oh boy, here we go.” Turns out, there’s a mess with some accounts. I mean, come on! How hard is it to keep things straight?

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