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About Ptuj

Well, well, my friend, ya caught me—Hannibal Lecter, car instructor by day, twisted mind by night. Sexual-massage, huh? Buckle up, this ride’s gonna swerve! I’m picturing it now—sweaty hands, oil slicker than a greased piston, some poor sap thinkin’ he’s gettin’ a rubdown but nah, it’s more like a gearshift gone wrong. Reminds me of *Synecdoche, New York*—life’s a stage, and this massage joint’s a freaky sideshow. “The end is built into the beginning,” Kaufman’d say—ya start with a backrub, end up in a whole damn mess!

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First stop? The main square, Trg svobode. It’s always buzzing. I swear, if you stand there long enough, you’ll see every character in town. Old Mr. Novak was there, selling his homemade honey. I bought a jar, but he tried to charge me double! I was like, “C’mon, man! I’m not made of money!” But he just laughed. Classic Novak.

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