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Oi, fam, it’s me, Ali G, innit! Check this, I’m chattin’ bout erotic-massage, yeah? Proper naughty stuff, gets me blood pumpin’. So, I’m thinkin’, erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, it’s deep, bruv. Like in me fave flick, *Caché*—you seen it? That French geezer Haneke, he’s dark, init. “Someone’s watching us,” that vibe, yeah? Same wiv erotic-massage—secret ting, hidden in plain sight.

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So, I decide to explore. Smarje-pri-Jelsah is cute, tho. Tiny streets, colorful houses. I stroll down Ulica 1. novembra, and it’s like stepping into a postcard. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I mean, who wouldn’t? The vibe is chill, and the locals are super friendly. I stop at a café, grab a coffee. Best decision ever. The barista, this cool dude named Luka, starts chatting me up. He’s got stories, man. Like, he once hiked to the top of a nearby hill, and I’m like, “Dude, I’m not fit for that!”

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