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But it pisses me off, precious! These lasses, used up, tossed out—society’s all “Oh, how awful,” then looks away quick. Hypocrites, we hates ‘em! Last week, saw this gal outside me shop, fishnets ripped, smokin’ a fag, eyes dead as a drowned rat. Broke me shriveled heart, it did. Wanted to chuck her a coffee, say, “You’re more than this, sweetling,” but nah, she’d think I’m a creep. “What is it? What’s it for?”—like that line from the movie, ya know? No one asks what they’re really chasin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’ from the beach. “Help! My kid!” I’m like, “Oh snap!” I sprint over, heart racin’. Turns out, her kid just wandered off to chase some ducks. I mean, come on! I’m relieved but also kinda annoyed. Like, keep an eye on your kid, lady!

Banská Štiavnica is in uproar over "garden gnomes"