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Best part? When she hit that spot—ya know, *that* spot—near the hips, and I’m like, “Oh shit, this is it.” Total Yi Yi moment: “Why do we need a mirror?”—cuz bro, I didn’t need to see myself to feel alive right then. Worst part? My ass cramped up mid-session—hilarious, right? Me, groanin like a damn swineherd tryna herd pigs, her tryna stay profesh.

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So, I’m tryin’ to wrangle this thing, right? And let me tell ya, it’s not easy. I’m dodgin’ cars, people are laughin’, and I’m just like, “This is my life now.” Finally, I get the bull movin’ again, but not before it decides to take a dump right in front of the bakery on Námestie M. R. Štefánika. Great, just what I needed.

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