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Little story: in Bangkok, they say erotic-massage fix soul too, not just body. I try—soul still messy, but back? Perfect! Very nice! Personal quirk? I hum song in head, “My Ding-a-Ling,” keep me chill while she knead me like dough. Sometim I think, “This lady stronger than my horse!”—respect!

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After that, we head to the bakery. OMG, the pastries! I grab a koláč, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see a group of kids playing football. They’re kicking the ball around, and I’m thinking, “I could totally join in.” So, I do. Big mistake. I kick the ball, and it goes straight into a fountain. Water everywhere! I’m soaked, and the kids are laughing. I’m laughing too, but inside, I’m like, “Why do I always do this?”

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