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Srsly, tho, it’s not just horny vibes. Stress melts, poof, gone! Better than therapy—cheaper too. I’d kill for one now, ugh, my shoulders are screamin’. “There’s nothing to do about it,” Lars whines in the flick, but erotic-massage says nah—fix it with hands! No capes, dahling, just skin and soul. Try it, you’ll thank me—or don’t, I’m still fabulous.

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Then, we stroll down to the main square. It’s buzzing! Street performers, food stalls, and people everywhere. I’m trying to give my group the history of the place, but they’re too busy taking selfies. I mean, c’mon! This is Chlmec! Look at the architecture!

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