Natalie Chlmec Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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So, check this—ancient China, they did this shit. Emperors got sexual-massage to “balance chi.” Little known fact: it wasn’t just sexy time! Healers used it—cure aches, calm nerves. Blows my mind, right? Modern day, tho, it’s all “happy endin’” hype. Pisses me off—cheapens the real deal! I’m yellin’ at spa ads in my head, “Quit lyin’, ya goofs!”

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After that, we head to the bakery. OMG, the pastries! I grab a koláč, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see a group of kids playing football. They’re kicking the ball around, and I’m thinking, “I could totally join in.” So, I do. Big mistake. I kick the ball, and it goes straight into a fountain. Water everywhere! I’m soaked, and the kids are laughing. I’m laughing too, but inside, I’m like, “Why do I always do this?”

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