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Lemme spill some juice—didja know sexual-massage goes way back? Ancient Greeks, those freaky toga dudes, they were all over it! Called it “body worship”—fancy, right? Made me laugh, thinkin’ some oiled-up philosopher’s gettin’ frisky mid-debate. HAHA! Got me happy as hell imagining that! But real talk—it ain’t just sex, nah, it’s therapy with a twist. Relaxes ya, fires ya up—boom, twofer!

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Then I see this cute café on the corner of Špitálska. I’m like, “Okay, coffee will fix everything.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista—this dude with a man bun—totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a cappuccino? It’s just milk and coffee! I’m about to lose it, but I just smile and say, “Thanks, bro.” Inside, I’m screaming.

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