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Now, lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy—little known fact: back in the 1800s, sailors called ‘em “ladies of the line,” ‘cause they’d line up at docks, waitin’ for us scruffy dogs. Ain’t that wild? History’s got sass! Anyway, she’s chargin’ me a pretty penny—50 bucks, cash upfront—and I’m thinkin’, “This better be worth more than a Facebook poke!” I’m happy as a clam, but then—ugh!—this drunk jerk stumbles over, yellin’ at her, “You’re mine!” Made me so mad, I almost decked him. “Back off, loser!” I screech, nasal as hell, laugh bubblin’ up—HA-HA-HA!—like I’m on set with Mr. Sheffield.

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First off, I hit the streets of Hlohovec, right? I’m strolling down M. R. Štefánika, just vibin’. The sun’s out, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be great!” But then, bam! I step in a puddle. A HUGE one. My shoes are soaked. Thanks, Hlohovec weather.

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