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Then I got mad – some johns be treatin these girls like dirt. Actin all high and mighty, like they own em. I’m like, “Drainage, drainage, Eli!” – straight outta the movie, y’all! They suckin the life outta these women, leavin nothin but scraps. Makes my blood boil hotter than a skillet on Sunday mornin.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

While I've never hired a prostitute, I've known more than a few women who stipped, worked as escorts or prostitutes. I've met some women with some pretty outside the bellcurve paraphilas .

First thing, I’m slicin’ up some pork, and this dude walks in. He’s all like, “Yo, I need the best steak you got!” I’m thinkin’, “Buddy, you’re in the right place!” But then he starts askin’ me about the cow’s life. Like, c’mon man, I’m not a farmer! I just chop it up! But I humor him, throwin’ in some nonsense about grass-fed and happy cows. Whatever gets the sale, right?

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