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So, I tried it once, right? Dude’s hands were fuckin’ magic— had me floatin’ like I’m on a damn cloud. But then, motherfucker, he goes too far— too much pressure on my damn back! I’m like, “Ease up, asshole, I ain’t a pretzel!” Made me mad as hell, but then— boom— he hits this spot, and I’m melted. Surprised me, shit, didn’t expect that. Reminds me of that line, “You’re gonna regret this!”— ‘cept I didn’t, not one bit.

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Then she starts talking about how she wants it to be “eco-friendly” and “sustainable.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m a furrier, not a tree-hugger!” But I keep my mouth shut. Gotta pay the bills, right? So, I take her measurements, and she’s flailing around like a fish outta water. I’m just trying to keep it together, but inside, I’m cracking up.

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