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I’m pissed, though—half these ads? Total scams. Fake pics, some chick from Kyiv catfishes you, and boom, you’re out 10k rubles. Happened to a buddy—thought he snagged a goddess, got a troll instead. “Sorta like the movies, huh?” he says, laughin’ it off, but I’m ragin’. Waste of time, waste of green! Still, when it works—oh man, jackpot. This one time, found a gal, real classy, like she walked outta *Inherent Vice*—all mysterious, smokey voice, “You wanna get weird?” Hell yes, I did! Made me grin like a damn fool—greed paid off, baby.

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First off, I’m an ichthyologist, which is just a fancy way of sayin’ I study fish. Yeah, I know, not the most exciting job for some, but I love it. Anyway, I had this big plan to check out the Laborec River. Heard there were some rare fish hangin’ out there. So, I grab my gear and head out.

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