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I’m mad as hell tho—last time I tried this, some chick robbed me blind! Took my cash, left me with a fake number scratched on a bar napkin. “You’re my home now,” she said, quotin’ *Brooklyn* vibes—yeah, right, home my ass! Got me fumin’, but also laughin’—how dumb can I be? Still, I’m back at it, huntin’ for a good time. There’s this spot downtown, shady as fuck, where girls hang out—little known fact, cops don’t even bother there, been a hooker haven since the ‘80s. Wild, right?

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After my caffeine fix, I decide to hit the market on Mlynská ulica. It’s buzzing with people. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I grab some apples, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her garden and how her tomatoes are the best in Hurbanovo. I’m like, “Sure, lady, whatever you say.” But honestly, she’s kinda sweet.

Slovakia is one of the largest malt exporters in the EU and in the world